Paperwork and Dates
by Obviously-Outlissa
Summary: Do you want me all to yourself Lieutenant?" An arguement between Roy and Riza takes an unexpected turn. Some language and innuendo. One-shot. Royai Day entry!


**My contribution to Royai Day. The plot idea changed halfway through, but I believe it is presentable. ^^**

**Enjoy!**

Roy eyed the stacking of looming files on his desk miserably before turning to glare at his subordinate. "Is it a rule that you have to give me the most work on the day, that I come in the most exhausted?"

"A late night date with Moriah in Accounting hardly registers any sympathy." Lieutenant Hawkeye gave her superior a level look. "Get to work, sir."

He leaned away casually, settling back to lounge in his chair. "You seem to be aware of every date I have." A smirk quirked his lips. "Do you follow me?"

"Hardly. Every discussion in the mess hall is over one of your 'dates'." Riza scowled at his mock surprise. "As if this place has nothing else to gossip about." A curt gesture pointed to the clock in the corner. "I need those papers by the end of day. The General asked you to be especially detailed in this report on the Elric brothers."

"Short and short tempered." He intoned dismissively. "Would one day off really hurt?"

Cold hazel eyes drilled into his skull. "Please don't make me babysit you, sir."

"I had a date!"

"You have a responsibility right now to get your job done."

Now it was pure indignation. Roy met her glare for glare. "I didn't get to bed until one in the morning."

"I don't care if those bubble headed nitwits you date keep you up til five in the morning!" Riza snapped. "Stop being such a child and get this done." Bristling, she turned to stalked to the door.

"Bubble headed nitwits…" He savored the words slowly and carefully, grinning. "Lieutenant Hawkeye, are you jealous?"

She whirled to face him. Her stony gaze could have sank battleships in the Aquroia. "I am _angry_ that you are acting like such a child. Finishing you paperwork has never been a problem."

"Going out on late nights has never been a problem either." He retorted.

Riza regarded him in cold silence. Finally "If you want to stay up late with some brain dead women that's your decision. But don't come in and complain about your bedtime to me when my patience is nearly gone."

"Patience huh?" Obsidian eyes studied her curiously. "Are you waiting for something Lieutenant?"

"For your paperwork to be finished, sir." The last bit was added with harsh emphasis.

"So it wouldn't be an issue if I stopped dating?"

She uttered a heavy sigh as she turned to leave. "This discussion is over, Colonel."

A thoughtful silence fell over the office. Her hand brushed the cold metal of the door knob- "So if I stopped dating this wouldn't be an issue."

"The issue is not about your dates." His refusal to let the subject die was irritating. "Your constant complaints-"

"But you specifically said 'brain dead'." The infuriating man leaned on his desk, resting his smug features in those trademark white gloves. Obsidian eyes roamed across the ceiling, deep in speculation. "So, if I date smart women, you wouldn't care."

"I never said that." She replied coldly. Her index finger was twitching instinctively. A long session at the range was the foremost of her ideas right now. Laying a few rounds into a superior officer had never gone well with the upper brass.

"So you **would** care if I dated a smart woman."

"No, that's not-"

"If you don't care either way then why do you care at all?" Those pitch black iris' were studying her shrewdly.

"It gets in the way of finishing your paperwork." Riza turned to leave, trying to swallow the new fantasy of crossing the room to smack that smug grin from his face.

"Do you want me all to yourself Lieutenant?"

She froze in shock.

"It's okay, I understand." The Colonel remained calm though the slightest hint of amusement colored his voice. "With such a handsome superior it's understandable to be jealous."

"How-" Riza sputtered, whirling to face him. Heat spread through her face like wildfire. "What are you talking about?"

"It's obvious." He sounded like a professor lecturing a confused and dim-witted student. "You don't like my dates because they interfere with work, something you want me to do. You feel that it takes away from your time with me."

The mollification was dying into outrage. "Who the hell comes up with such a ridiculous conclusion?" One hand lovingly stroked the pistol at her side.

"I've thought about this for a long time." Roy rose from his desk calmly, circling around to approach her. "After putting a lot of thought into the situation I've only discovered one possible solution." He halted just inches from the Lieutenant, bowing his head to meet her livid gaze. "You will go out with me tonight for dinner, then come back to my apartment, from there-"

"Have you lost your mind?" She growled. "Why would-" The rest of her argument was lost in a smothering kiss. In a mixture of confusion and panic she was able to determine two things; one, the hand gripping the back of her neck was restricting her ability to breathe and two, the second hand was dangerously low around her waist. After what seemed like an eternity she was able to gulp a lung full of air, staring at her superior in horror. Roy grinned wider, leaning down to press his lips against her ear.

"I like your hair down much better." Another wave of surprise hit as a tumble of gold strands hit her shoulders. "See you at seven. Be sure to wear something tight and tiny. Preferably a mini skirt." He gave her one last smirk before disappearing through the door.

Riza stood frozen in shock. Her eyes stared sightlessly at the door. 'Something tight and tiny?' "You bastard." The holster on her belt was immediately relieved of its burden. The sharp click of the magazine settling in the chamber was barely audible over the slam of the office door.

* * *

The target was located within seven minutes. Roy Mustang was sitting across from a peeved Lieutenant Havoc obviously trying to fake a bleary eyed attentiveness to the other man's conversation but failing miserably.

"Late night, Colonel?" Jean Havoc peered at his coffee mug unsympathetically. "When did you get to bed?"

The other man shrugged despondently. "Late. I just got in a few minutes ago."

"The First Lieutenant won't be too happy about that. You know you've got a boat load of reports due by this Friday." Roy grunted and leaned to steal the other's breakfast tray. Havoc's survey of the cafeteria ended abruptly, an unlit cigarette pausing just centimeters from his lips. "Speak of the devil."

The Colonel shifted, trying to greet the woman storming toward with an abashed smile. "I was just having breakfast I'll be in the office in a-" He cut off, suddenly aware of the cold metal being rammed into his stomach. Riza leaned forward her eyes flashing venomously. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "Miniskirt? Meet you at seven? Going back to your apartment?" She jammed the mouth of the gun harder with each phrase. Havoc and Roy stared in horror. "Anything else you want to add to that list?"

Slowly, the Colonel swallowed, wetting his lips nervously. "I don't remember saying anything to that effect. Honestly, I don't have any idea what you're talking about."

"Good." Her tone said it was anything but that. "Repeat it to anyone and I'll have you written up for fraternization **and** sexual harassment. Do I make myself clear?" She withdrew the weapon, clicked the safety on and shoved it back in its holster. "I'll see you in your office in three minutes. By the next hour I want all papers on my desk, signed and ready to shipped to the General to be processed. Until then I'm going to the range." Riza gave him one more scorching, writhing glare before turning to the other subordinate who was trying to sink under the table. "You too Lieutenant Havoc." With a sarcastic tilt of the head she stalked to the exit leaving behind her a chilling silence.

* * *

Elsewhere another Roy Mustang sauntered nonchalantly through the hallways. He paused, smiled at a passing secretary, and slipped quietly into a nearby room. He stood in the darkness grinning as though savoring a victory.

"Father doesn't want you endangering the sacrifices."

Cringing, the Flame Alchemist turned to eye the buxom woman in the corner. "Oh, please like she would have killed him right there."

"She may have." The woman flipped a lock of raven hair over her shoulder with a disdainful twist of the neck. "Lieutenant Hawkeye certainly seemed ready too."

"Ah, well. It's worth it for a little entertainment." The Colonel's scruffy black bangs lengthened as the bulky military attire morphed into skin tight black shirt and skort. Two slitted violet eyes sparkled with delight. "Humans are so fun to manipulate."

The other made a small sound of agreement. "Father wants to see us. It appears you may be able to make a mess of yet another human situation."

He bowed, overwhelmed with her confidence. "That's what I do best."

**I hate Envy. Reviews are always appreciated. Flames will destroy my hardrive. Thanks for reading.^^**


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